Why Sticking with Exercise Feels So Hard in Midlife and How to Finally Make It Stick

Have you ever joined a gym, downloaded a fitness app or started a new exercise plan, only to find yourself giving up a few weeks later?

Perhaps you started with enthusiasm. You had a plan, knew what you wanted to achieve and felt ready to make a change.

Then work got busy. You slept badly. Family responsibilities took over. You missed a session, then another, until the routine you were determined to establish quietly disappeared.

And now you're wondering why you can't seem to stick with it.

If this sounds familiar, I want you to consider something important.

The problem may not be that you lack motivation or willpower. Your approach might simply be too difficult to sustain in the life you're actually living.

Knowing that exercise is beneficial and finding a way to keep doing it are two different things. During midlife, that difference can become particularly noticeable.

If you're exploring strength training as part of your menopause health, my guide to strength training in menopause explains the wider picture, including muscle strength, bone health and practical ways to get started.

In this article, we'll focus on a different challenge: how to make exercise fit your life so that you can keep going, even when circumstances change.

Why exercise can feel harder during menopause

During perimenopause and menopause, you may find that the routines that once worked for you no longer feel as manageable.

Perhaps you're dealing with disrupted sleep, fluctuating energy, changes in how you feel physically or a greater need for recovery. You may also be juggling demanding work, family responsibilities, caring for ageing parents or simply having less time for yourself.

When you're already stretched, exercise can start to feel like another obligation.

You might know that moving more would be beneficial, but knowing something is good for you doesn't automatically make it easy to prioritise. And when a routine becomes difficult to maintain, it's tempting to assume that you need more discipline. Before you blame yourself, consider whether your current approach genuinely fits your circumstances.

Your needs, priorities and capacity can change. Your approach to exercise may need to change with them.

If you're still at the stage of trying to get started, rather than maintaining an established routine, read How to Start Exercising in Menopause: A Beginner's Guide.

The Menopause Action Gap™: When knowing what to do isn't enough

You might know that strength training can help support muscle strength and bone health. You might understand the value of regular movement and even have a plan that looks good on paper.

But what happens when you have a poor night's sleep, an unexpectedly busy week or no enthusiasm for the activity you've planned?

This is where The Menopause Action Gap™ becomes relevant.

It's the gap between knowing what might help and turning that knowledge into realistic, sustainable action in everyday life.

You can understand the benefits of exercise and still struggle to find the time, energy, confidence or routine to make it happen.

That doesn't mean you don't care about your health. It means there is a difference between having information and having an approach that works for you.

Closing that gap isn't necessarily about finding another plan or pushing yourself harder. It starts with understanding what gets in the way and making changes that are realistic enough to sustain.

The rest of this article explores practical ways to do exactly that.

1. Stop building routines around your best days

Think about the exercise plans you've tried in the past. Did they assume you would have plenty of time, good energy and a predictable schedule every week?

It's easy to create a routine when you're feeling motivated. You might plan several workouts, schedule early starts and promise yourself that this time will be different. But a routine that only works when everything goes well is unlikely to work consistently in real life.

Instead, build your approach around the week you're likely to have, not the ideal week you wish you had.

Ask yourself:

• How much time can I realistically make available?

• When am I most likely to have the energy to move?

• What responsibilities might interrupt my plans?

• What could I manage during a particularly busy week?

• What would make it easier to get started?

You don't need to aim lower or abandon your goals. You need a flexible way to work towards them.

For example, if a long gym session isn't realistic every week, you could explore shorter opportunities for movement or different ways to stay active when your schedule changes.

The aim is to make your routine adaptable, rather than allowing one difficult week to derail everything.

2. Have a plan for difficult weeks

One of the most useful changes you can make is to stop treating every week as though it should look the same.

Some weeks, you may have more time and energy. Other weeks, work, family responsibilities or poor sleep may mean you need to adjust your expectations.

Instead of seeing this as a problem, plan for it.

Think about having two versions of your routine:

Your usual approach: What you would like to do when time, energy and circumstances allow.

Your fallback approach: What might be manageable when life gets busy.

Your fallback might involve a shorter session, a walk, a little movement at home or another activity appropriate to your circumstances.

It doesn't have to match your usual plan exactly. Its purpose is to give you options when your original plan isn't realistic.

It's also important to recognise when rest is what you need. Consistency doesn't mean ignoring pain, pushing through significant fatigue or exercising when you should seek medical advice.

The goal is not to do something at all costs. It's to make thoughtful decisions rather than feeling that your only options are a perfect workout or nothing.

3. Make exercise fit around your life

If exercise always feels like something you have to squeeze into an already full day, it's worth looking at the practical barriers.

Sometimes the problem isn't the exercise itself. It's everything required to make it happen.

Perhaps the gym is inconveniently located. Perhaps getting ready and travelling takes longer than the workout. Perhaps you need to organise childcare, rearrange work or find an activity that doesn't leave you feeling overwhelmed.

These barriers matter.

Rather than relying on motivation to overcome them every time, look for ways to reduce the effort involved.

You could:

• Choose an activity in a location that's convenient for you.

• Prepare what you need in advance.

• Find a time that fits your usual routine.

• Explore options you can do at home.

• Arrange to exercise with someone if that makes it easier to follow through.

• Keep your plan simple enough that you don't need to make lots of decisions before starting.

You might also need to reconsider what exercise means to you.

It doesn't have to be an elaborate programme or a demanding gym session. The right approach is one that supports your goals while remaining realistic for your circumstances.

If you're interested in exploring different movement options, The Best Strength Exercises for Menopause offers practical ideas to help you understand the options available.

4. If confidence is the barrier, address that first

Sometimes, the difficulty isn't finding time to exercise. It's feeling comfortable enough to begin.

You might worry about using gym equipment, feel self-conscious around other people or believe that everyone else knows more than you do. If that's what's holding you back, simply telling yourself to be more consistent won't solve the problem. You may need to make the experience feel more manageable first.

You could begin at home, arrange an induction, ask a suitably qualified exercise professional for guidance or visit a gym simply to become familiar with the environment. You don't have to feel completely confident before taking the first step.

If feeling out of place or intimidated is your main obstacle, read Overcoming Gym Intimidation: Your Guide to Starting Resistance Training in Menopause.

The important thing is to identify the barrier you're actually facing, rather than assuming that every difficulty with exercise comes down to motivation.

5. Stop treating missed sessions as failure

You've made a plan. You've started following it. Then something gets in the way, and you miss a session.

What happens next?

For many people, one missed session becomes a reason to give up altogether.

You might think you've lost momentum, fallen behind or ruined the progress you were making. You might decide to start again on Monday, at the beginning of next month or when life becomes less busy.

But missing a session doesn't erase the effort you've already made.

A missed workout is an event, not a verdict on your ability to be consistent.

Instead of asking yourself why you've failed again, ask a more useful question:

What happened, and what would help me respond differently next time?

Perhaps your plan was too ambitious. Perhaps you didn't allow enough time. Perhaps you were exhausted and needed rest. Or perhaps something unexpected happened that you couldn't have planned for.

Each situation calls for a different response.

You might need to simplify your routine, change when you exercise, allow more flexibility or accept that some weeks will look different from others.

You don't have to compensate for a missed session by doing more later. You can simply return to your usual routine when it makes sense to do so.

The ability to resume after a disruption is an important part of building a sustainable habit.

6. Focus on repeatable actions, not perfect results

When you start exercising, it's natural to think about the results you want.

You might want to feel stronger, improve your fitness, support your bone health or feel more confident in your body. These goals can give you direction. But if progress feels slow, or if you judge every week by whether you've achieved a particular result, it can become difficult to recognise the value of what you're doing.

Try paying attention to the actions that help you move towards your goals.

For example:

• Did you make time for movement when it was realistic to do so?

• Did you adapt your plans rather than abandon them?

• Did you return to your routine after a difficult week?

• Did you find a way to make exercise more convenient?

• Did you learn something about what helps you follow through?

These are meaningful signs that you're developing a more workable approach. You don't need to feel motivated every time. You don't need every session to be enjoyable. And you don't need to see immediate results for your efforts to matter.

The aim is to build a pattern of behaviour that can continue beyond the initial burst of enthusiasm.

If you'd like to understand why strength training matters during menopause and how to approach getting started, read my guide to strength training during menopause

7. Recognise when you need a different kind of support

Sometimes, you can identify the barriers and make useful changes yourself.

At other times, you may find that you keep returning to the same difficulties, even when you understand what needs to change.

Perhaps you're trying to manage several health goals at once. Perhaps you struggle to prioritise yourself. Or perhaps you need help working out what is realistic and how to turn your intentions into practical steps.

That doesn't mean you need someone to tell you to try harder.

It may mean you would benefit from a more structured way to think through your goals, explore barriers, review your progress and adapt your approach as circumstances change.

Support should help you build confidence and develop skills you can use independently, rather than making you feel that you must follow a perfect plan.

If you want to explore the wider principles behind making sustainable changes, you can also read my guide to behaviour change during menopause.

Start by getting clearer on your next step

If you're feeling overwhelmed by all the things you think you should be doing for your menopause health, my free Menopause Blueprint is a practical place to begin.

It can help you take a broader look at your menopause health and consider where you want to focus your attention, rather than trying to change everything at once.

Get your Free Menopause Blueprint

Work through it at your own pace and use it to help clarify what matters to you and where you might want to start.

You don't need to have the whole journey mapped out. You just need a manageable next step.

Want more structured support?

If you'd like to explore the wider foundations of menopause health beyond exercise alone, Menopause Essentials offers an educational starting point.

If you know what you'd like to change but find it difficult to put your intentions into practice consistently, individual coaching may be another option.

Fuel & Move Well is my 12-week, one-to-one online coaching programme combining personalised nutrition with movement coaching and resistance-training guidance. It's designed for women who want to work on nutrition and movement together, build sustainable habits and develop an approach that fits their lives.

You don't need a gym membership to take part.

Explore Fuel & Move Well and my other coaching options.

You can start with the free Menopause Blueprint above and explore these options when you're ready. You don't have to decide on coaching now.

You don't have to keep starting over

Consistency isn't about getting everything right.

It's about finding an approach that can adapt when life changes, responding constructively when things don't go to plan and returning to the actions that matter to you.

You can have difficult weeks. You can miss sessions. You can change your mind about what works best for you.

None of that means you've failed.

The aim is not to become someone who never loses momentum. It's to develop a way of moving that makes it easier to begin again.

You don't necessarily need more willpower. You may need a more realistic way to turn what you know into what you do.

You don't have to keep starting over

Consistency isn't about getting everything right.

It's about finding an approach that can adapt when life changes, responding constructively when things don't go to plan and returning to the actions that matter to you.

You can have difficult weeks. You can miss sessions. You can change your mind about what works best for you.

None of that means you've failed.

The aim is not to become someone who never loses momentum. It's to develop a way of moving that makes it easier to begin again.

You don't necessarily need more willpower. You may need a more realistic way to turn what you know into what you do.

That is where meaningful, sustainable change can begin.

Reference

MacDonald, C., Bennekou, M., Midtgaard, J., Langberg, H. and Lieberman, D. E. Clarifying the real challenge: adherence, not efficacy, is the barrier to exercise as medicine. British Journal of Sports Medicine. Published online 28 October 2025. doi: 10.1136/bjsports-2025-110988.