Overcoming Gym Intimidation: Your Guide to Starting Resistance Training in Menopause

Walking into a gym can feel like stepping into a world where everyone else knows exactly what they’re doing.

The weights area can seem particularly daunting. The equipment looks unfamiliar, other people appear confident, and you might worry about using a machine incorrectly or looking as though you don’t belong.

Perhaps you’ve had an induction but can’t remember everything you were shown. Perhaps you’ve tried going a few times, only to find that the initial nerves return whenever you walk through the door.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Feeling intimidated doesn’t mean you’re incapable of strength training. It means you’re facing something unfamiliar, and you may need a more manageable way to begin.

You don’t have to become a confident gym-goer overnight. You can start with small steps, build familiarity at your own pace and find a way of moving that fits your life.

If you’d like to explore the bigger picture, including how strength training fits into your wider menopause health, visit my guide to strength training in menopause.

Why strength training matters during menopause

You don’t need to become a gym enthusiast to appreciate why strength training is worth considering during perimenopause and beyond.

As we age, maintaining muscle strength becomes increasingly important. Resistance training can help support muscle strength, bone health and everyday physical function.

Research has also explored its potential benefits for physical fitness, mental wellbeing and sleep in postmenopausal women.

The important thing is not to let the potential benefits become another source of pressure. You don’t need to do everything perfectly, follow a complicated programme or lift heavy weights from your first session.

You can start where you are and build gradually.

If you’d like to understand the wider role of resistance training during menopause, including muscle, bone health and getting started, read the guide to strength training during menopause.

1. You don’t have to start in the gym

One of the biggest misconceptions about strength training is that it has to begin in a gym.

It doesn’t.

If the gym feels intimidating right now, you could begin at home, where you can get familiar with basic movements without worrying about what anyone else thinks.

For example, you might start by practising movements such as:

• Sit-to-stands: Practise standing up from a sturdy chair and sitting back down with control.

• Wall push-ups: Place your hands against a wall and gently bend and straighten your elbows.

• Supported squats: Hold a stable support if needed while practising bending your knees and hips.

• Resistance-band movements: Explore simple movements using a resistance band if you have one and know how to use it appropriately.

These are examples to help you think about possible starting points, not a personalised exercise prescription. Choose movements that feel appropriate for your current abilities, and seek guidance from a suitably qualified exercise professional if you’re unsure what is safe for you.

The aim is to make the first step feel manageable.

You can explore more movement options in The Best Strength Exercises for Menopause.

If you're not sure how to start building an exercise habit at all, read How to Start Exercising in Menopause: A Beginner's Guide for practical ideas on taking that first small step.

2. Make your first gym visit smaller

If you want to use a gym, you don’t have to walk in and complete a full workout straight away.

Instead, break the experience into smaller steps.

Your first visit might simply be about becoming familiar with the environment.

You could:

• Visit at a quieter time if that would make you feel more comfortable.

• Walk around and familiarise yourself with the layout.

• Ask a member of staff to show you how a particular machine works.

• Arrange an induction or book a session with a suitably qualified personal trainer.

• Plan which area you want to visit before you arrive.

• Give yourself permission to leave after a short visit rather than feeling obliged to complete a full session.

You’re allowed to be a beginner.

You’re also allowed to ask questions. Most people are focused on their own workout, not judging yours.

You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Every small step that helps you feel more comfortable is progress.

3. You don’t need to know everything before you begin

Gym equipment can look complicated when you’re unfamiliar with it. You might worry about choosing the wrong weight, adjusting a machine incorrectly or not knowing how many repetitions to do.

It’s understandable to want to get everything right before starting. But trying to learn everything in advance can make the process feel even more overwhelming.

Instead, focus on learning one thing at a time.

You could start by becoming familiar with one or two pieces of equipment, asking for help when you need it and writing down any instructions you want to remember.

A qualified personal trainer can help you understand how to use equipment and develop an approach that suits your abilities and goals.

If you’re not sure what the terminology means, remember:

• Repetitions (reps) are the number of times you perform a movement.

• Sets are groups of repetitions, usually separated by a rest.

• Progression means gradually adjusting what you do as your ability and confidence develop.

You don’t need to master every term before your first visit. Understanding the basics over time is enough.

4. Stop comparing your beginning with someone else’s middle

One of the hardest parts of entering a gym can be the feeling that everyone else is more confident, stronger or more experienced.

You might notice someone lifting heavier weights or moving between machines without hesitation. It can be tempting to compare yourself with them and conclude that you’re behind.

But you don’t know their starting point, their experience or what their journey has involved.

Your progress is not measured against the person using the weights next to you.

Instead, focus on what you can control:

• Turning up, even when you feel nervous.

• Asking a question rather than pretending you understand.

• Learning how to use a piece of equipment.

• Finding a form of movement you feel comfortable returning to.

• Recognising that confidence often develops through experience.

You don’t have to feel confident before you start. Sometimes, confidence comes from doing something manageable and discovering that you can do it.

5. Build consistency without expecting perfection

Getting started is one challenge. Finding a way to keep going when life gets busy is another.

Work, family responsibilities, disrupted sleep and changes in how you feel can all affect your routine. If your plan only works when you have plenty of time and energy, it may be difficult to maintain.

Rather than aiming for a perfect routine, think about what could realistically fit into your week.

Ask yourself:

• When might I have time for movement?

• What tends to get in the way?

• What would make getting started easier?

• What could I do on a busy week?

• What would help me return to my routine after a break?

You might find it easier to plan shorter sessions, choose a convenient location or arrange to meet someone who helps you feel more comfortable.

Missing a session doesn’t mean you’ve failed. You can return to your routine without trying to make up for lost time.

If staying consistent is your biggest challenge, read How to Build Consistency with Exercise.

The goal is not to create a routine that looks impressive on paper. It’s to find an approach that has a realistic chance of becoming part of your life.

6. Find a way of moving that works for you

The gym is one option, not the only option.

You might enjoy using resistance machines. You might prefer free weights, home-based movement or working with an exercise professional. You may want to try a few approaches before deciding what feels right.

There is no need to force yourself into an environment that makes it harder to begin.

At the same time, if using a gym is something you genuinely want to do, feeling intimidated now doesn’t mean you’ll always feel that way. Familiarity and appropriate support can make the experience easier over time.

Try asking yourself a different question.

Instead of, “How do I become someone who feels confident in the gym?”, ask:

“What is one small step I could take towards feeling more comfortable with strength training?”

That step might be researching a local gym, arranging an induction, asking a question or simply exploring your options.

You don’t need to solve everything today.

When knowing what to do isn’t enough

You might understand why strength training matters. You might have read about the benefits, saved exercise ideas and promised yourself you’ll get started next week.

But knowing what could help and finding a way to put it into practice are two different things.

This is part of what I call The Menopause Action Gap™: the space between knowing what might help and turning that knowledge into realistic, sustainable action in everyday life.

During menopause, you may be juggling work, family responsibilities, disrupted sleep, changing priorities or uncertainty about where to begin. Even when you know what you want to do, finding a way to make it happen can feel difficult.

The answer isn't necessarily more information, more pressure or another list of things you should be doing.

Sometimes, the most useful first step is to understand what's getting in the way, what matters most to you and what feels manageable in your life right now.

You don't have to change everything at once. You can start by identifying one realistic next step and building from there.

Start with a clearer picture of your menopause health

If you’re not sure where to begin, my free Menopause Blueprint is a practical starting point.

It can help you take a broader look at your menopause health and consider where you might want to focus your attention, rather than feeling that you need to change everything at once.

Get your Free Menopause Blueprint

You can work through it at your own pace and use it to help clarify your next steps.

Want more structured support?

If you'd like to explore the wider foundations of menopause health beyond exercise alone, Menopause Essentials offers an educational starting point.

If you know what you'd like to change but find it difficult to put your intentions into practice consistently, individual coaching may be another option.

Fuel & Move Well is my 12-week, one-to-one online coaching programme combining personalised nutrition with movement coaching and resistance-training guidance. It's designed for women who want to work on nutrition and movement together, build sustainable habits and develop an approach that fits their lives.

You don't need a gym membership to take part.

Explore Fuel & Move Well and my other coaching options.

You can start with the free Menopause Blueprint above and explore these options when you're ready. You don't have to decide on coaching now.

You don’t have to conquer the gym

Strength training isn’t about proving that you’re the fittest person in the room.

It’s about finding a realistic way to support your strength and physical wellbeing as you move through midlife and beyond.

You can begin at home. You can ask for help. You can take your time getting familiar with the gym. You can change your approach if something isn’t working.

Most importantly, you don’t have to wait until you feel completely confident to take the first step.

Start small. Find what feels manageable. Build from there.

References

• Isenmann, E., et al. (2023). Resistance training alters body composition in middle-aged women. BMC Women's Health. https://bmcwomenshealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12905-023-02671-y

• Wang, Z., et al. (2023). Comparative efficacy of different resistance training protocols on bone mineral density in postmenopausal women: A systematic review and network meta-analysis. Frontiers in Physiology. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fphys.2023.1105303/full

• Ward, L. J., et al. (2020). Resistance training decreases plasma levels of adipokines and improves physical fitness, mental health and sleep quality in postmenopausal women. Scientific Reports. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-76901-w

• Choudhry, D. N., et al. (2024). The effect of resistance training in reducing hot flushes in postmenopausal women. Maturitas. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1360859224001293