“Surgical Menopause Ruined My Life": What If You Feel This Way?
You typed that sentence into a search bar for a reason.
Maybe it was 2am and you couldn't sleep, again. Maybe it was after a day where you cried in the car park before work and didn't fully understand why. Maybe it's been building for months - this sense that the person who went into surgery isn't quite the person who came out.
You are not being dramatic, and you are not overreacting. There's real research behind what you're describing, and there are things you can do that don't involve just gritting your teeth and waiting. Here's what we actually know - and what tends to help.
Why This Can Hit So Hard
Unlike the gradual, if often unpredictable, hormonal changes of perimenopause, surgical menopause can cause ovarian hormone levels to fall abruptly when both ovaries are removed. Ovarian hormones influence much more than reproduction - including mood, sleep and the body's stress response. Which is part of why NICE guidance specifically flags the possible effects of menopause on mental health as something worth discussing with a healthcare professional (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence, 2024). We've covered the biology of this in more depth in why surgical menopause can feel so severe - this piece picks up from there: what the emotional impact actually looks like in the evidence, and what you can do about it.
The clearest evidence on the emotional impact comes from the WHAM study - a prospective, controlled study that followed women having risk-reducing bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (most with a BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene variant) against a comparison group who kept their ovaries. It found this group's transition into surgical menopause was associated with a real, measured increase in depressive and anxiety symptoms in the early months after surgery: clinically significant depressive symptoms rose from 14.5% before surgery to 27.1% at three months, and clinically significant anxiety symptoms rose from 6.1% to 17.7% over the same period (Hickey et al., 2021). This is the population the figures come from specifically - women having surgery to reduce a hereditary cancer risk - but the underlying pattern, an abrupt loss of ovarian hormones affecting mood in the short term, is relevant to surgical menopause more broadly.
Some participants in the study were already using hormone therapy, and depressive and anxiety symptoms still increased at a group level. The study wasn't designed to test whether hormone therapy prevents or treats mood symptoms, so this doesn't tell us MHT/HRT "doesn't work" - but it does underline that hormonal treatment alone may not address every contributor to emotional distress after this kind of surgery, and that mood may need its own attention alongside it.
If surgery knocked you sideways in a way you weren't prepared for, this is why. It's not a sign you're coping badly - it's a documented pattern in exactly this kind of surgery.
My free I Don't Feel Like Me Anymore guide is for women who are struggling to recognise themselves through menopause - and want somewhere practical to start.
What Happens From Here - Without the False Promises
Here's the more complete picture, and I want to give it to you honestly rather than tidily.
The encouraging part: at the two-year mark, depressive and anxiety symptoms in that same study group were, on average, no longer elevated at a group level compared with the comparison group who hadn't had surgery (Hickey et al., 2025).
But that's not the whole story. Women who had clinically significant depressive or anxiety symptoms at twelve months were highly likely to still have them at twenty-four months (Hickey et al., 2025). In other words: the size of your reaction now is information, not a verdict - but it's information worth acting on.
So please don't treat any particular timeframe as the "right" point to ask for help. If what you're feeling is persistent, severe, getting worse, or affecting your ability to function - that's the signal to get support, whether that's at three months, nine months, or two years in. Waiting for a calendar milestone isn't necessary.
What Can Help You Move Forward
Medical support
An individual conversation about MHT/HRT with a menopause specialist, if you haven't already had one. NICE guidance is explicit that anyone likely to experience menopause through medical or surgical treatment should be offered the chance to discuss menopause with a healthcare professional with expertise in menopause, both before and after treatment (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence, 2024). MHT/HRT can help with many menopausal symptoms and, as the evidence above shows, doesn't necessarily resolve every emotional effect on its own. Your own medical history - including the reason for your surgery, since this differs for cancer-related and non-cancer-related surgical menopause - matters here, so this needs to be a personal conversation rather than a blanket recommendation. If you've already started MHT/HRT but still don't feel like yourself, I've also written about why symptoms can persist after starting HRT.
A proper mood and symptom review, particularly if it's been a while since anyone checked in on how you're actually doing, not just your physical symptoms.
A GP referral for a mental health assessment, if what you're feeling is persistent, severe, or affecting your ability to function - this is a different, and equally valid, thing to ask for alongside anything hormone-related.
Surgical menopause can affect far more than mood. If you're dealing with a combination of symptoms and want to understand how they can fit together, you can explore the full guide to menopause symptoms.
Practical, everyday support
Alongside medical care - not instead of it - these are areas that generally support mood, sleep and stress resilience during a major hormonal transition:
Sleep support, given sleep disturbance is common after this kind of surgery (Hickey et al., 2021b)
Nutrition, including adequate protein
Movement, particularly strength training
Stress regulation and nervous-system support
Rebuilding daily routines and structure
This is general supportive self-management rather than a tested treatment for post-surgery mood specifically - but it's a meaningful part of how capacity gets rebuilt week by week, and it's exactly the space coaching can help with.
If work has become one of the places where you feel the impact most strongly, you may also find it useful to read Returning to Work After Surgical Menopause.
If you want a self-paced place to work through those foundations, Menopause Essentials brings nutrition, movement, sleep, stress and daily habits together in one structured programme.
How can menopause health coaching help?
Surgical menopause isn't something you can simply “get over”. If your ovaries have been removed, the hormonal change is permanent - and that can leave you wondering what life is supposed to look like now.
My role isn't to pretend I can fix that or take the place of your doctor. It's to help you work out how to live well in the body and circumstances you have now.
That can mean helping you:
Make sense of what you're experiencing - so you're not constantly wondering why you feel so different from the woman you were before surgery.
Build practical routines around your current energy, sleep and symptoms, rather than expecting yourself to keep functioning exactly as you did before.
Work on nutrition, movement, strength, sleep and stress in ways that are realistic for your life and alongside your medical care.
Rebuild confidence when brain fog, fatigue or other symptoms have made you question what you're capable of.
Navigate work and everyday life when your concentration, energy or resilience aren't what they used to be.
Find your sense of self again - not necessarily by trying to become exactly who you were before surgery, but by working out who you are and how you want to live now.
Turn good advice into something you can actually sustain, because knowing what might help and being able to put it into practice are two very different things.
And if there are things that need medical attention - whether that's your hormone treatment, persistent low mood, anxiety or symptoms that are affecting your ability to function - I'll encourage you to take those conversations to the right healthcare professional. Coaching works alongside that care, not instead of it.
You may have surgical menopause for life.
That doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life feeling like your life has been taken from you.
There is a difference between accepting that your body has changed and accepting that you have to feel this way forever.
That's the gap I can help you work on.
The Preparation Gap Is Real, Even If It's Not the Whole Story
Some of the qualitative research on women having this kind of surgery has found they wanted clearer information beforehand about the physical, emotional and sexual after-effects - including a study of women who'd had risk-reducing ovary removal for hereditary cancer risk (Hallowell, 2000), and a separate study of women deciding about oophorectomy alongside hysterectomy (Bhavnani and Clarke, 2003). Current NICE guidance now explicitly addresses this: anyone likely to experience menopause through medical or surgical treatment should be offered the chance to discuss it, before and after, with someone who knows menopause (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence, 2024). If nobody prepared you properly for how this might feel, that reflects a gap some women have reported and that current guidance is trying to close - not a gap in your resilience.
If What You're Feeling Is More Than Low Mood
For many women, the intensity of the early months eases over time. For some, it genuinely doesn't ease on its own - and if that's you, please don't treat that as a personal failure to just "get through it."
If it's hard to function day to day, if low mood is persistent or worsening, or if you're having thoughts of hurting yourself, this is something worth discussing with your GP or another appropriate healthcare professional as soon as you can. If you ever feel at risk of harming yourself, Samaritans are available any time, day or night, on 116 123 (UK, free).
You Haven't Failed
If surgical menopause has genuinely upended your mood, your relationships, your sense of yourself, or your work, that reaction is consistent with a documented pattern in exactly this kind of abrupt hormonal change. It isn't evidence that you're weak, ungrateful for a life-saving or life-improving surgery, or doing this "wrong."
As a health coach, I can't diagnose depression or anxiety, and I can't prescribe or adjust your hormone therapy - those conversations belong with your doctor or a menopause specialist, and if what you're describing sounds like it needs that, please don't wait to have them. What I can do is help you close the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, through the practical, daily work that supports energy, sleep and resilience - alongside whatever medical support you need, not instead of it.
A gentle next step
If you've been feeling unlike yourself through menopause, I've created a free guide to help you make sense of that feeling and start finding your way back to yourself.
Get the free I Don't Feel Like Me Anymore Guide
What could coaching actually help you change?
If surgical menopause has changed how you feel, work, sleep, eat, exercise or function day to day, you don't have to work out the next step alone.
On a free Menopause Clarity Call, we'll look at what is actually getting in the way of you feeling more like yourself, what you've already tried, and where practical support could help.
You won't get a sales pitch or a promise that coaching can fix your menopause. You'll leave with more clarity about what you need next.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can surgical menopause affect your mood? Yes. A prospective study of women having risk-reducing ovary removal (most with a BRCA1/2 gene variant) found clinically significant depressive symptoms rose from around 1 in 7 to over 1 in 4 women within three months of surgery, with a similar rise in anxiety symptoms. If you're experiencing persistent or severe low mood, it's worth speaking to your GP rather than assuming you simply need to wait it out.
How long do the emotional effects of surgical menopause last? In the same research group followed for two years, symptoms were no longer elevated at a group level by the two-year mark. But women with significant symptoms at twelve months were highly likely to still have them at twenty-four months - so it's worth seeking support whenever symptoms are persistent or affecting your daily life, rather than waiting for a particular timeframe to pass.
Does MHT/HRT stop the emotional effects of surgical menopause? Not necessarily on its own. In research studies, mood symptoms increased after surgery even in some women using hormone therapy - though those studies weren't designed to prove whether MHT/HRT does or doesn't help mood specifically. MHT/HRT is worth an individual conversation with a menopause specialist given the wider benefits and the health considerations of early hormone loss, but it may need to sit alongside separate support for mood rather than being relied on to resolve it alone.
Is what I'm feeling just menopause, or could it be something more? Only a doctor can properly assess that. If low mood is persistent, severe, or affecting your ability to function day to day, that's a reason to ask for a proper assessment rather than guessing at the cause yourself.
What can I do alongside medical care to feel more like myself again? Sleep support, nutrition, movement (particularly strength training), stress regulation and rebuilding daily routines are all generally supportive during a major hormonal transition, though they're not a substitute for medical care where it's needed. This is the space coaching works alongside your medical care to support - practically, and at your pace.
References
Bhavnani, V. and Clarke, A. (2003) 'Women awaiting hysterectomy: a qualitative study of issues involved in decisions about oophorectomy', BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, 110(2), pp. 168–174. doi: 10.1046/j.1471-0528.2003.01372.x.
Hallowell, N. (2000) 'A qualitative study of the information needs of high-risk women undergoing prophylactic oophorectomy', Psycho-Oncology, 9(6), pp. 486–495. doi: 10.1002/1099-1611(200011/12)9:6<486::aid-pon478>3.0.co;2-y.
Hickey, M., Moss, K.M., Brand, A., Wrede, C.D., Domchek, S.M., Meiser, B., Mishra, G.D. and Joffe, H. (2021) 'What happens after menopause? (WHAM): a prospective controlled study of depression and anxiety up to 12 months after premenopausal risk-reducing bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy', Gynecologic Oncology, 161(2), pp. 527–534. doi: 10.1016/j.ygyno.2021.02.001. PMID 35583580
Hickey, M., Moss, K.M., Krejany, E.O., Wrede, C.D., Domchek, S.M., Kirk, J., Brand, A., Trainer, A., Mishra, G.D. and Baker, F.C. (2021b) 'What happens after menopause? (WHAM): a prospective controlled study of sleep quality up to 12 months after premenopausal risk-reducing salpingo-oophorectomy', Gynecologic Oncology, 162(2), pp. 447–453. doi: 10.1016/j.ygyno.2021.05.036. PMID 39504590
Hickey, M., Nguyen, T.L., Krejany, E.O., Domchek, S.M., Brand, A., Hopper, J.L. and Joffe, H. (2025) 'What happens after menopause? (WHAM): impact of risk-reducing salpingo-oophorectomy on depressive and anxiety symptoms at 24 months', Gynecologic Oncology, 192, pp. 1–7. doi: 10.1016/j.ygyno.2024.10.031.
Moss, K.M., Mishra, G.D., Krejany, E.O. and Hickey, M. (2022) 'What happens after menopause? (WHAM): a prospective controlled study of symptom profiles up to 12 months after pre-menopausal risk-reducing salpingo-oophorectomy', Gynecologic Oncology, 167, pp. 58–64. doi: 10.1016/j.ygyno.2022.09.012.
National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (2024) Menopause: identification and management (NG23). Available at: https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng23 (Accessed: 27 August 2026).
